Tuesday during Holy Week we had mass with the Bishop at the Cathedral where the priests all renew their priestly promises and the oil is blessed that we use for all of our sacraments. Now, the parking lot is always kind of a pain to get out of there. It’s just huge and you are in there forever. So, the procession of priests went out the back of the Cathedral and I thought, ‘this is my chance.’ So, I just started running toward the garage, another priest was saying hi to me out of the way and I wasn’t paying attention. I tripped on one of the steps, landed sideways and I fractured my foot. I know, so sad (laughter). So, I won’t be able to play pickle ball for the next six to eight weeks, right?
I’m in this holding pattern right now. Have you ever found yourselves in a holding pattern, just kind of waiting for the Lord to direct you? I think that’s what’s happened to the disciples in this experience. Jesus had appeared to them twice already in community when they were together in the upper room, once without Thomas, then again with Thomas. The second time he would breathe on them and say, “Peace be with you,” and he would give them the ability to forgive sins. But he didn’t quite commission them yet. And so, Peter, I believe, wasn’t quite sure what to do with his life at this point so he just went back to fishing. He said, “Hey guys, I’m going fishing.” Because Peter was now in charge of the church, the disciples just went with him. The apostles went and fished all night. They were kind of in a holding pattern. They fished all night and they caught nothing.
Until somebody yelled from the shore, “Cast the net to the right side.” They heard the voice and cast the net to the right side, so full of fish that they can’t even bring it into the boat. But it’s the Beloved disciple who was the same one at the tomb that first saw the burial cloths and he believed. It was the Beloved disciple that recognized that it was Jesus and he said, “It’s the Lord.”
What I love about this scene, it’s almost comical, is how excited Peter is that he just jumps out of the boat and goes to shore. Then the fish are brought in and Jesus invites them to breakfast and it’s a beautiful scene. I’ve been to Galilee right on the shore there. And there’s a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread. The charcoal fire is only mentioned twice in the gospel. The other time Peter sat by a charcoal fire was when the Lord was arrested. Jesus had foretold that Peter would deny him three times and on the third the cock would crow. As Jesus was by that initial fire, the women would ask Peter, “Do you know him? It sounds like you have the same accent.” He would deny him three times and the cock would finally crow and after that moment of denial Peter never encounters the Lord again. The disciples aren’t with him when he is crucified and so without reconciliation, Jesus suffers and dies.
I can only imagine the anguish in Peter’s heart that he had denied the Lord and hadn’t had the opportunity to reconcile. So, there’s this beautiful scene at the edge of the Sea of Galilee on the beach with the fire in the intimacy of Jesus and Peter and Jesus wants to reconcile.
He (Jesus) three times asks him, “Do you love me?” And with each response of, “I love you Lord,” he then commissions him. “Feed my Lambs.”
“Peter, do you love me?
“Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
“Tend my sheep. Peter, do you love me?”
“Yes, Lord you know everything. You know that I love you.
“Feed my Lambs.”
I think that kind of gives us an illustration of what our lives can be like as we discover and discern God’s call in our lives. That each and every one of us has a unique purpose as disciples. God wants to do something with you that he’s never done in all of humanity before. He wants to use you to tell other people about our experience of Christ. But what can prevent that? I think the first thing is not having any direction. The disciples didn’t have any direction at first. They’re in the boat, they are catching nothing. It’s a fruitless labor until Jesus calls out.
And it’s the Beloved disciple again that recognizes Jesus, and tells Peter it’s the Lord, Sometimes, we discover God’s voice in community. Not only here when we celebrate the Eucharist, but every event that we do here at this parish. All of our Tuesday night teachings are to help form discipleship. And sometimes when we can’t see the own call of God in our lives, other people can reveal that to us. So, it’s important that we share with each other.
And then when we realize that call, we have got to be like Peter and just jump into it. Whatever the Lord is calling us to, jump in. The only thing that could block us from moving forward in the spiritual life is our own sin. And so, Jesus wants to reconcile with each and every one of us because we continue to deny, we continue to fail. But he gives us that opportunity here at mass but also in the sacrament of confession. I just think of that one-on-one of the priest in the person of Jesus and the disciple before him. Reconciling.
We are called to be disciples. And if we find ourselves in a holding pattern for too long, it can mean that maybe we’re missing the voice of God. Maybe we need someone else to help recognize that voice. Then, when we recognize the call, to jump into the water, to follow him. And then as we are reconciled, to fall completely in love with him, to feed his sheep and to listen to that commission that he finally gives. Follow me. Follow me.
