Beloved sinners. That’s what I want to talk about as we celebrate this Holy Thursday. This great paradox is that God loves us in the midst of our sin. As we celebrate today, we focus on three aspects: one is of the Priesthood, the second is the Eucharist, and the third is the Washing of Feet.
So, Priesthood first of all. I look at priests as being dispensers of God’s Mercy. In a very special way, I am privileged to do that: to dispense of God’s mercy. And all of us priests know all too well that we are still sinners. All of us priests are sinners. But we are beloved sinners. I was hearing the confession of a priest recently, and it resonated so deeply with me, and I think it is a common experience. He was confessing, and he said, “I realize in my life, because of my own shame and sinfulness, I’ve been pushing God away. I realize that I haven’t been talking to him. I haven’t been willing to go and be with him amid my sin.” And I thought about that for myself: how true is that when I feel my own shame or my sin or my own experience of anger or guilt, whatever that may be, it’s hard for me to pray? See, when I pray, I’d rather be going into prayer peaceful, joyful, and without shame or guilt.
But the Lord shows us today in this reading that he wants to wash the most filthy part of us. He wants to embrace us in the midst of our sin. He wants us to realize that we are beloved sinners. And it’s interesting because Peter is having a difficult time with this paradox. So, when the Lord first approaches him to wash his feet, he says, “Lord, you will never wash my feet.” And in a sense, he is saying to the Lord, “I’m too filthy. I don’t ever want to watch you come down and wash my feet.” And Jesus shows him that he is beloved. And he says, Peter I must wash your feet. And Peter can’t handle this tension, so he goes to the opposite extreme and he says well, Lord, wash all of me. Peter is not ready to realize that he is still loved as a sinner. And Jesus is revealing to him that in baptism, we have received this title of beloved. So, from the moment that you were baptized you are set free, washed clean of original sin. But there’s the paradox because we still sin. But Jesus provides a way for us. And he says you’ve already been washed, you’ve already been baptized, but from time to time I may need to wash your feet.
And for us, we receive that, most particularly in the sacrament of confession. So as a priest, I’m a dispenser of God’s mercy. I bestow God’s mercy on us while we are still sinful. I think even that is difficult for us to wrap our minds around. I was reading a book actually and this man was not Catholic and he was saying the thing that I envy most about Catholics is they have the opportunity to go to confession. And know when they confess their sins and walk out of that confessional, their sins are forgiven. He said wouldn’t we all love to have that opportunity? And we do.
So first of all, realizing that as priests we are beloved sinners and as your priest and as Father Ray, your priest, we realize our own humanness and our own weakness. And it’s in that brokenness that allows us to look at you with only more love when you come before us in confession. And what a privilege it is to wash your feet, and to have you be made clean once more.
The second is the Eucharist. We come to mass every Sunday, and in this Triduum, and a lot of times people that are outside of the church will say that we as Catholics are hypocritical, that we come to mass and act like we don’t have any sin, when the opposite is true. We come to mass and every time we celebrate the Eucharist, we begin with a penitential act. We acknowledge our sinfulness. But we don’t despair because we are beloved sinners. And our Lord, Jesus Christ, wants to give his very Body and Blood to us, to be with us in the midst of our sin, to love us in the midst of sin. And I think that’s why we have the commandment to Keep the Sabbath holy because there are times when we might feel too sinful to even go to mass. I wonder about people who have walked away from the faith if they just feel like I’m too big of a sinner and have given up. But the Lord wants to accompany us in our sinfulness. And so, we come Sunday after Sunday after Sunday, acknowledging our sin, but also realizing that we are beloved sinners. And he wants to give himself to us. And the more broken that we realize that we are, the more we realize that we need a Savior. And so, the good news is that if we find ourselves broken, if we find ourselves trapped in sin, we have a Savior. Hopefully, the more that we come to realize that we are beloved sinners, the more we will then, as we hear in the gospel today, begin to love other people in that way.
So, Jesus says what I have done for you is a model of what I want you to do for others. What that means is that we go out into this world and we love sinners. We go out into this world and we help people know that no matter what sins they are trapped in, they are beloved by God, and beloved by us. And sometimes, just that love will help them out of their shame. And it’s important that we go to the deepest, darkest, filthiest part of humanity. It’s important that we go to those who may feel the most shame for their sins. It’s important in some way that we wash their feet, that we help them to know of God’s love in the midst of their sin. That they too are beloved sinners. Now just as Peter wrestled with this paradox and at first, he couldn’t have Jesus wash his feet, and then he wanted his whole body washed and Jesus is trying to explain to him, you’ve already been washed, but you are still sinning and I need to wash your feet, we have to live in that paradox. We live in that reality that we’ve been washed in Baptism and yet we still sin. And we are still in need of his mercy.
As we celebrate the foot washing here in just a few moments, we are going to experience that ritual. So, I want you to be in touch with that part of you that is filled with shame, that part of you that is broken, that part of you that may be trapped in some sin, and you are just wanting and longing to be freed from. And it’s right there that Jesus wants to go. He doesn’t wait for us to become perfect. He doesn’t wait for us to become Holy to encounter him. He wants to go in our lowest part, into the darkest part, and into the filthiest part of us and wash and make us clean. When we have experienced that renewal and that cleansing, we will go out into the world and wash each other’s feet.
So, after the homily, I’m going to just give you a few moments and I want you to think about that part of ourself, the part that we try to keep God at bay from. What’s the part that we are afraid to go to him, or too ashamed to go to him, or want to have sorted out to go to him? It’s that very part that he wants to wash, that very part that he wants to take so tenderly into his hands, wash your feet, and dry them. We are beloved sinners. And it’s a great paradox, but it is a wonderful paradox that God does love us in the midst of it. So, spend just a few minutes before we wash feet, and bring that part of us that is so filthy to the Lord, that he may love us and embrace us.
